rage becomes her's Journal - Day

4:31PM - at the li b r ary

The library computer is a wanker, but this library rocks.  The list of books here is mind blowing compared to the LA libraries.

Life in this little town is so different.  I'm back, like a salmon, in the county of my birth.  The city is close, my birthplace closer, and all of the wear of the cold, raw, city and all of my scars are visible from the streets.  But I don't live there.  I live here in the tree lined streets of somewhere else entirely. 

I moved into my aunt's home, not her empty house.  Her things fill the rooms with clues about her life.  I'm not ready to give them up until I know more. I wonder when I will feel like this is my home.  I'm guessing when it's painted and repaired, but that will take months. 

I'm somewhere between Momma and Nana, between Babe and Bob and someone without a name.  The fragments spin slowly, closer than every before, threatening to fuse into something new,  unlike anything I every dreamed.  I'll let you know.

Current mood: okay

Current music: kid coughing